Are you ready for a new kind of Disney movie?
Full of strong female characters,
and a celebration of Polynesian culture?
a strong, determined young woman
who won't stop until she gets the job done.
"You will board my boat, sail across the sea,"
"and restore the heart of Te Fiti."
Who after 90 minutes of adventure
becomes a strong, determined young woman
who won't stop until she gets the job done.
"You will board my board, sail across the sea,"
"and restore the heart of Te Fiti."
just as confusing and vague as Elsa's ice magic in Frozen.
So wait, does she have any water powers at all?
Or does it only protect whoever has the glowy thing?
And if the ocean has her back,
why does it keep trying to drown her?
Follow along on Moana's quest to save her homeland,
by following a super obvious sign
in a journey that pokes fun at all of Disney's usual tropes
"If you wear a dress, and you have an animal sidekick,
"If you start singing, I'm gonna throw up."
while at the same time being 100% guilty of them.
From her cute animal sidekicks,
an all-powerful, charismatic, brawling, tattooed demi-god.
So pretty much, The Rock.
Enjoy the highest honor a culture can receive these days
having your traditions commodified by the Disney corporation.
And watch as the Polynesian people,
who traveled between islands thousands of miles apart thousands of years ago,
are represented by paranoid coconut lovers
who would rather starve to death than sail past a three-foot break.
So enjoy a film with a soundtrack people can't stop gushing about
because the guy from Hamilton is involved
and not even the ocean gushes as hard as Hamilton fans.
The "They're really into coconuts" song
The "Uh oh, we're making the Rock sing" song?
And, the "Beautiful song in a foreign language that could be saying anything" song
because it turns out it's really freaking hard to find a Tokelauan translator.